Silence and I

Interesting people have interesting things to say, right? If so, why don't I ever have interesting things to use to generate interesting conversations with people? The obvious answer would be that I am uninteresting, but I really don't believe that to be true. I mean, I like interesting things and can talk quite intelligently about a lot of things, but when I am around people that I don't know very well, I tend to sit silently and not actively generate conversation.

I am naturally timid in certain situations. Once I get to know people that timidity vanishes and conversation flows freely. The paradox lies in the fact that I only overcome my timidity and talk freely to people when I get to know them well, but I only get to know them well by talking to them. Clearly, remaining in my natural state won't change anything.

The easy answer is that I just need to be more confident. That always seems to be the easy answer - easy to give, at least; for those who keep receiving this advice, it's not the easiest thing to hear. Self-confidence isn't something that can be miraculously generated. It takes a lot of conscious decisions to change and a herculean effort to make it happen, and I am not sure that I am ready to make that effort. I know that I need to and that I'm tired of sitting silently when there are people nearby that I am interested in getting to know better. I know that I should be more active and assertive in getting out in the social spheres, but no matter how convinced I am of the appropriate course of action, I still find it difficult.

Of course, I could overcome these obstacles only to find out that I really am uninteresting after all, and then everything will be explained satisfactorily. Until I discover the truth of this matter, here's to the silent, yet interesting, men and women of the world.

Hail! Our Glorious Anthem!

I, the giver of light and knowledge, hereby proclaim that this blog must "have its roof blown off" as my cohort so eloquently phrased it. I therefore present the anthem of our glorious and widely unknown pursuit of justice for men.

Chivalry in the Wind
I am a man, raised to be so, then I am cast away.
All my life, taught to be respectful, is something wrong with me?
Lost to the world, lost to the world in our chivalry.

Same old door, I hold it open but she still chooses to ignore.
All we do, is for granted taken, and I mean by you.
Lost to the world, lost to the world is our chivalry.

Now, don't let go, once we're gone forever, we're forever gone.
Day by day, and soon you ladies will not have another gallant guy.

Lost to the world, lost to the world is our chivalry.
Lost to the world, lost to the world is our chivalry.

"I'm going to blow the roof off this thing."

“I am going to blow the roof off this thing.”

That’s what I said earlier today in reference to this blog, and I meant absolutely every word of it. I am tired of this blog moving along at a glacial pace, and I intend to kick start it by posting something everyday this week. I even made a list of topics worth writing about – that’s how serious I am about this. Though today’s entry probably won’t be anything special, there should be some good stuff at some point this week. Who knows, maybe I’ll post my long personal essay on the subject of beards.

Being that it is already late and I’m tired and have an aching head, I will stick to a Superficial Comment of the Day for tonight’s post. Tonight’s SCotD is about the way people get lured into near-relationships only to be spat out rather unceremoniously. Point in case, this past summer I was almost in a relationship. This girl and I hung out a lot (by a lot I mean nearly every day for three weeks), and at one point, we both expressed our interest in one another. Logically, I was pretty certain this was leading towards a relationship. Well, it may have been, but it definitely didn’t reach that point. The girl told me she didn’t feel ready to be in a relationship, and that was that. I quickly convinced myself to not dwell on it too much, and I was able to move on quickly.

What bothered me then, and still bothers me now, is this: shouldn’t she have known before things went so far that she wasn’t ready for a relationship? When someone says that they’re not ready to be in a relationship, it really means they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. If you know or sense that, why let things get so far along? A lot of guys probably wouldn’t deal with the letdown so rationally and unemotionally, and the disappoint could really hurt them. I’m not trying to say that this only happens with girls; guys are equally as guilty of doing this.

Of course, I understand being unsure if a relationship would work out, having some doubts, but ignoring them and starting a relationship only to find that it won’t work. I can’t say that I haven’t done that, because I have, last summer even. But I never felt that it wouldn’t work out until I gave it a try. Once I knew, I did what I had to to rectify the situation, and I always felt that it was best for both of us. I suppose what I am trying to get at with this comment is that people ought to be more upfront as soon as they sense that a relationship should not happen or would not work out. The sooner everything is resolved, the less people will be hurt.

That’s what I think, at least.

Among other things

At first glance this might seem to be an unfair and cruel rant on modern fashion.

I know that would be an odd and superficial tone coming from the great giver of light and knowledge. I just want to say that it is impossible to be chivalrous, even in my often outlandish and awkward way, towards people that look like they slipped on a patch of ice and slammed right into an electrified rainbow.

Ah yes, what, you might ask, is the electrified rainbow? It is a rainbow that has insane amounts of electricity flowing through it the like of which have never thought to have been possible. The unfortunate violent reactions are (for men): an odd spike of hair popping out of the the top of the head (oftentimes changing colour)and/or other hair anomalies (though less common), the jeans are burnt and take on a rusted colour and shrink to inhumanely small sizes, shirts adapt the overall fanciful gaiety of the rainbow from which they sprang, and their once proud symbols of virility, yeah the beard, are charred to the point to which only embarrassing attempts can be made at true beardiness.

For women, it is the warrior-paint anomaly (the reasoning for this is as follows: 1. since girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice, and 2. collide with the electrified rainbow, then 3. two negatives make a positive and women wear warrior-paint of many colours often worn not to attract men as previously thought but as a warning like so so many exotic creatures of the deep jungles), their once crowning virtue of femininity, their hair, is either burnt short to resemble something of a hedgehog or the warrior-paint anomaly is further exacerbated long locks of not blond hair (as commonly held) but a lion's mane slowly taking over their once prominent locks. Truly, not only their femininity but also their humanity is undone by the double-negative reaction (reasoning shown previously) as feet and calves are replaced by TACKY UGG™BOOTS!!! (take that RoboCop)

Bereft of humanity these poor creatures wander our streets. Oblivious to the metamorphosis, that would have made Kafka wail in unending agony, that they have endured they are the cause of the prolonging of winter and the propagation of the 'slip and smash of the ignorant into that most repulsive of rainbows.

Oh cruelties of cruelties! Oh mockery of mockeries! Oh misery of miseries! Alas! the rainbow has been their downfall and my chivalry hath none effect! Alas, all of mine...is chivalry in the wind.

Superficial Comment of the Day

By way of explanation, the Superficial Comment of the Day first came into being during the fall of 2007. My friends and I were talking, and I decided to share a thought about relationships, something superficial, because it feels good to sometimes recognize our superficiality instead of always trying to pretend it doesn't exist. We are hardly such noble creatures. Not yet, anyway. So I shared my comment with them, and the Superficial Comment of the Day then became a semi-regular staple of our conversation.

This brings us to the present.

So there was an impromptu dance party this evening. The Great Pumpkin, Promethus Rex, and I were dancing and having fun, but unfortunately, the number of femininas participating in the dance party was quite slim. Later, the number of dancers began to dwindle and things began to look like they were wrapping up. Suddenly a group of people, led principally by a quartet of girls, stormed the dance floor and demanded that the partaaaaaay continue. So it did. But with those girls came another group of guys, guys that had been playing games with those girls earlier that evening. Those fellows seemed to think that a dance party consists of yelling and cheering, more so than actually dancing to the tunes.

Anyway, that was a long set-up. What I determined through my careful observation of the situation was that we, the men of Chivalry in the Wind, are cooler than those other guys. We definitely have better dance moves, but what bothers me, on the most superficial of levels imaginable, is that while we would appear to be cooler dudes, they are better integrated with the femininas in the area. O injustice of injustices! The beard within my soul quakes with the terrible travesty of this situation.

The rational part of my brain is telling me that the very fact that they are more integrated with the feminine members of our community shows who really is cooler---but superficiality isn't rationality, and I still think that we should appear like the cooler and more desirable masculinos (my new word) on the block.

On the eve of Civil Rights Day, I want to share with the world my dream. I have a dream that someday I will live in a world where bearded masculinos will be truly appreciated and pampered by dancing femininas. Oh yes, I have a dream.

Feminazis

Let us now consider the role that feminism has played is destroying the persona of the man and why all women are to blame - not just the crazy activists.
Since the beginning of the 19th century and the industrial revolution women began to play a greater role in the work force and society as a whole. While the liberation of women from domestic tyranny is not disputed nor is if refuted here that the archaic notion of the inferiority of women was held for ages of earth's history, what is to be said is that is has been done incorrectly and, therefore, to the detriment of society as a whole.
What I speak of is simply this - that by placing blame on men in general for any sexist oppression since the dawn of time is a generalization that has weakened the role of good husbands and fathers. Now, the feminazis would like all men to bow in humility and subservience because of "their great oppression". May I remind the reader the reader that not all white people in America were racist - in fact if it weren't for white folk slavery might have continued to this day (*gasp*). Likewise, (may I emphasize the last comment as a parallel example) women's rights were largely the product of good men (once again, *gasp*). However, like many activist groups, the feminists cannot simply let a dead dog lie. Its largely over people - except for some hicks down in the swamps of the deep south, I think that people understand that we're all equal.
That was an interesting tangent, a true point, but a departure nonetheless. Women everywhere are to blame for the loss of common courtesy once offered by men, nay gentlemen. If women want doors held open and other such things once so common I say speak out! If the feminazis are the minority, which there are, then simply reverse the tide of their media-spawned takeover of society and, more importantly, the traditional family. By not speaking out against the loss of a mannerly, polite society you have contributed to its demise.
Chivalry in the Wind. Ground to dust are our roots of honor cultivated for hundreds of years.
And what will replace it?

Beware cliff ahead....