Just Settle

In lieu of recent conversations with my fellow truth-seekers, close study of The Colbert Report (12 march 2008), and the Atlantic Monthly's article "Marry Him!", I have identified one of man's greatest enemies: Disney.

Now, I love "Bambi" and "Dumbo" just as much as the next person, but its not so much those genre-types that I publicly denounce. It's the Disney Princess mentality propagated by the other stories - the stories that girls and young women grow up having ingrained in their mind and wishing to believe, even forcing themselves to believe in some psychological aspect, that distort their sense of reality and serves not only to their detriment but ours as well.

So, it is my proposal here to make a couple clarifications for everyone, or no one, who reads this:

• the knight in shining armor does not exist because you dreamed him up

• you probably can't be even half as cultured as you expect him to be

• soul-mates don't exist and neither do their synonyms

• you're not a princess (even if your daddy told you so)

• marriage doesn't solve problems and, therefore, there is no 'happily ever after'.
  

• men who try to live up to the almost impossible expectations of 1) making you laugh constantly, 2) fitting your ideal, and 3) flamboyancy to catch your eye or stick out because that's the only way you'll recognize him will ultimately become depressed and you will tire of their constant antics and endeavors to please you.

• Romance, the kind my mother wishes she has and only exists in her Harlequin romance novels, only exists in those novels....and Disney.

It's not all about you. It's not about landing a big fish. It's not about upgrading your status to 'queen' from 'princess'. It's about responsibility and benefiting society by raising children to contribute and continue to solve the problems that our generation will no be able to. It's about objectivity and realizing that he's going to settle for you, so you might as well settle for him. It's about objectivity. Maybe you'll have to just go for 'Mr. Good-Enough' instead of the non-existent 'Mr. Right'.

Honestly, a good man will have too much to do in life between holding down a good job and trying to be a good father to pamper you as a queen. I personally would much rather have someone to get down in the trenches with, so to speak, and is willing to tough-out life in a way that acknowledges and accepts reality.

In the long run you'll be happier and love will grow and deepen based on that kind of responsibility and realization. This is also not to say that there aren't people that one is more compatible with or that romance, in a realistic way, can't exist. I realize that perhaps the Disney Princess mentality isn't the rampant destroying psychological typhoon that I have made it out to be here, but the absurdity of it's existence begged this scathing criticism.

Refuse the fantasy. All it ever was...was chivalry in the wind.

Love Waxes On, Waxes Off

The Tedious Introduction

Here I am...blogging again. It's been awhile. Admittedly, I have no valid excuse for not writing for so long. Sure, school has been hectic with tests to take, papers to write, and books to read. Yes, writing, directing, editing, shooting, and acting in a mind blowing three-minute film, "The Return of the Three Masters," for the BYU iOscars film competition took a lot of time.

Nonetheless, I should not have neglected this blog. I wasn't even sure that people read it, let alone enjoy it, and the incorrect perception of pointless toiling got to me. For those who are reading this, I thank you for reading it. As an aspiring writer, I am always immensely gratified and grateful whenever someone gives positive feedback. Thank you.

Before I get to my chosen subject, I thought I would explain the noticeable change made to our blog. We now have music. For the time being, I have chosen three songs that I have been listening to a lot lately. "Briony" by Dario Marianelli comes from the official soundtrack for the 2007 film Atonement. The entire soundtrack is great. I've been trying to round up all the soundtracks that were nominated for the Best Musical Score academy award to see if Atonement really deserved the award. I've listened to four of the five nominees, lacking only the 3:10 to Yuma, and I can authoritatively declare that Atonement deserved its win. Both "Briony" and Debussy's classic "Clair de Lune" are on that soundtrack - hence, their inclusion in the playlist.

Now on to what we're really here for:

Love Waxes On, Waxes Off: What the Karate Kid Teaches us about Love

This past Saturday night I was conversing with my roommates, asking them what they thought I should write about in this prodigal blog entry. They tossed a few ideas out, but for some reason, none of them felt right. When I stumble upon a good topic to write about, for a blog entry, essay, or any other creative project, I just know it. I feel that it is the right thing to write about, and I get excited. It was well after midnight, and I could not think of something to write about. I wanted to write something, but I can't settle for mediocrity (though that may appear questionable if you've actually read my writing).

Anyway, I sat down on the couch, frustrated with my lack of inspiration, and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels until I came to channel 56, AMC (the American Movie Classics). One of my favorite childhood movies was on, 1984's The Karate Kid. I loved that movie growing up, along with the second film. I used to practice the crane kick, you know, the move Daniel Larusso uses to win the tournament at the end of the film. I thought it might come in handy someday (I still hope it will). I watched a few minutes of the film and knew immediately that I would write something about that film. But what?

Then I saw a young Elizabeth Shue onscreen, and I watched as her character, Ali Mills, began to form a relationship with Daniel (who shall henceforth be referred to as Daniel-san). Ah, teenage love. Such a beautiful thing. Then I remembered that in The Karate Kid, Part II Daniel-san goes with Miyagi to Japan and hooks up with a cute Japanese girl. I then asked a question my younger self had never felt the need to ask: what about Ali? I was befuddled. What did happen between Daniel-san and Ali? It was there, in the search for that answer and in the quest for the meaning of their relationship, that this blog was born.

Before I go about answering that question, let's take a look at their relationship and see what we can gleam from it. First off, how does a guy like Daniel-san get a girl like Ali? By all appearances and societal norms, their very relationship is an anomaly. Daniel-san is not the most assured, confident, or desirable bachelor. He comes from a struggling economic situation with his single mother, he's not very popular and gets beat up by the cool kids, and, for most of the movie, he doesn't have an awesome car. So, he's got no money, status, or car, and somehow he ends up with a girl like Ali? She comes from an extremely different background. She comes from wealth, is very beautiful, and has everything it takes to be popular and powerful in high school. (She even hangs out with her ugly friends, ensuring that she will always be the center of attention when the boys are near). Basically, Ali can have whatever and whomever she wants.

Common sense, then, would seem to dictate that these two crazy kids would never have much in the way of friendship, let alone a romantic relationship. Yet they do. How is this possible? The answer to that question is the first important life lesson taught by The Karate Kid:

Karate will get you chicks.

At first, I didn't believe that to be true. Maybe it was because nobody cool did karate where I'm from, admittedly a backwoods smorgasbord of rednecks and giant dinosaur statues. Maybe karate was cool at their high school because there was no football (the type of person Ali would seem to go out with). Perhaps karate was their football.

One good reason that these two lovebirds get together is that Daniel-san repeatedly defends Ali's honor when she is being bothered/annoyed by the karate jerks. Not only does this earn Daniel-san their ire and hatred, it earns Ali's respect and, get ready for it, her heart (aww). Because Daniel-san is willing to sacrifice his personal well-being for her sake, Ali is able to see his true worth and potential. This allows her to see past the obvious differences that had and could keep them forever apart. It is to her credit that Ali is willing to get over the superficial obstacles that would keep someone like her far away from someone like Daniel-san, even with pressure from her parents and their country club mentality.

But Daniel-san is no loser, mind you. He trains diligently with Miyagi and learns how to wash cars, sand decks, and paint fences and houses. He also learns karate, and he uses that karate to kick major booty. In short, Daniel-san is the best around.

(At this point you should cue the song "You're the Best Around" which is, incidentally, from The Karate Kid).

Now I must ask: how could Ali not fall in love with Daniel-san? He is the best around, and he has an awesome theme song, the respect of his enemies, and a giant trophy to prove it. I'm surprised Ali didn't have to fight off other women for Daniel-san's affection. In the end, Daniel-san and Ali achieve something significant. They break down class barriers and prove that money and status don't matter when it comes to true love.

But then the sequel came out.

Ali is nowhere to be seen in The Karate Kid, Part II. Early in the film, Daniel tells Miyagi that Ali dumped him for a UCLA football player. Whaaaaaa? Since when was Ali that kind of person? If she could make it through high school (when status is so important) and eschew the typical life of the beautiful, wealthy, and popular, why would she seem to fall into this trap in her first semester at college? It all seems so out of character, and I'm forced to try and imagine how this could happen. Maybe she couldn't handle Daniel-san's eternal devotion to Miyagi and felt ignored, abandoned, and unloved. Maybe Daniel-san let the fame get to his head and he pushed her away and neglected their relationship. Maybe he drove her to break up with him. I really don't know.

What seems most likely to me is that the filmmakers knew they wanted to take Daniel-san and Miyagi to Japan in the sequel, and they couldn't see a way to make Ali a feasible part of the story. We all know long-distance relationships don't work, and how would you show a long-distance relationship in a movie made in the 1980's? Do you show them writing heartfelt letters back and forth? (Boring). Do you show Ali being scolded by her parents for making costly phone calls to Japan? (Does Daniel-san call her collect?). No matter how much they may have wanted to bring back Ali's character, it was impractical.

Besides, by having Ali dump Daniel-san, he is able to go to Japan and hook up with a cute Japanese girl and remain the good guy we all want to win. Had he broken up with Ali just so he could have a fling while in Japan, he would become an unlikable protagonist, and you can't have an unlikable protagonist in an inspiration 80's film. This way, Daniel remains the sensitive guy, and we're happy when he appears to find love once again. Without the conventional romance thrown in there, how else could the movie aspire for greatness and immortality? We sure love our movie romances, don't we? Yes, we do. Thus, Ali got the boot and Daniel-san got the pretty Japanese girl. And we got a great sequel - I love Daniel-san triumph over the bad guy with his imitation of the spinning drum thing. Classic.

When all is said and done, I am amazed at how much a classic movie can teach us about love and relationships. Perhaps the most important lesson can be learned when we look back at Daniel-san's training with Miyagi. He is forced to do extremely menial and seemingly meaningless chores. He washes dirty cars with just a sponge, sands a very large deck on his hands and knees, and paints a long fence and an entire house. Eventually, Daniel-san explodes with frustration and anger. "When am I going to learn karate?!" he yells. Wise Miyagi (a man with facial hair, I might add) approaches Daniel-san and tells him to perform the motions for each of those various activities. Then he tries to hit Daniel-san, but Daniel-san is able to use the motions for those trivial chores to defend himself. Wow, turns out that while Daniel-san thought he was just doing Miyagi's dirty work, he was really learning karate. This leads us to the second, and greatest, life lesson taught by The Karate Kid:

Learning to love is like learning karate.

We have to do things we don't understand if we are to truly learn to love. That includes dating, the incessant worrying and stressing and over analyzing, everything related to The Game, buying flowers, writing terrible poetry, spending excessive amounts of money on a rock, etc. And after we do all that and think we haven't accomplished anything, we realize that we have learned karate. Or how to love. One of the two.

What is the equivalent of the crane kick when it comes to love?

There we have it, dear readers. The Karate Kid is a fountain of knowledge and important life lessons. How many of you thought that when I announced the title of this entry that I would wax on (pun!) so elegantly and so extensively? Frankly, I am quite surprised by the length of this blog entry, but I know that I learned a few important lessons about life and love. The next time we find ourselves struggling to learn our metaphorical karate and we're fighting the fight of love and relationships, and we find ourselves being kicked in the face or nearly having our leg broken when someone takes a cheap shot at us, we will remember these wise words of Miyagi:

"Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important."

Keep breathing and trust that everything will be okay in the end. I guess I should trust Miyagi more. Does anyone have a fence to paint?

I Understand

I now understand why so few people actually read our treatises of truth (a.k.a. our blog).

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