Superficial Comment of the Day: Cuteness

Okay, today's Superficial Comment of the Day (SCotD) could ruffle some feathers. That is not my intent, mind you, but I will not back away from taboo issues in order to keep everyone feeling great about everything. Sometimes we have to be completely honest, even if it may make others look at us derisively. Here we go!

I have been in a couple situations, let's use work as an example, and some female talks about a member of the opposite sex that we, the single males of the workplace, have yet to meet. That unknown person is described as cute. Later, after the single males have met the no longer unknown female, they are asked, "Isn't she cute, guys?" And sometimes, the immediate answer is an awkward moment of silence. Then someone eventually says, "She seems nice," and we hope that the conversation will move on to something different.

Some of you might be thinking, "Guys are such pigs," or "they're all superficial jerks." Ultimately that might be true, but in this instance, I think a little moderation must be exercised. Consider it exercised.

I'm going to generalize right now. Women, at least in my personal observations, in an effort to be kind to all the members of their gender, will almost always say that so-and-so is cute. If they have any kind of friendship with so-and-so, they will definitely say and truly believe that she is cute. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but we all need to realize that men think differently. We would never say that all of the men we know are cute or handsome, even some of our friends will fall short of that mark.

Cute is, unfortunately, not democratic (nor is it republican, lest anyone try to make a political joke). Rather, it is not applied freely to all people, by men, nor can it. I suppose we believe in a superficial hierarchy of sorts. Some people do look better than others. (I have no trouble admitting this because I do not, and have never, considered myself on a high level of the superficial hierarchy). Maybe it is a fault of the male gender, but we cannot consider everyone equally when it comes to looks.

So coming back to my work example, what would happen if a female associate asks us what we think of the unknown female, and we respond that we don't find her cute. In our current societal conditions, the female associate would be appalled and her estimation of us as men would drop considerably. All we would have done is speak honestly. I don't think that it should be a social faux pas for us to admit that we don't find everyone attractive. We don't have to say it in a rude or inconsiderate manner; we wouldn't even have to say it to the particular person.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: women, don't be offended if a guy doesn't think that someone you know is cute. It is nothing personal; he just doesn't find her attractive, much like he doesn't find others attractive. Men are selective with the application of acknowledged superficial beauty. Don't berate them for not being as generous and kind-hearted as you. Cherish and believe them when they freely acknowledge your beauty. Because that says a lot.